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Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Pentagon Considered "Fart Bombs"

Reporters who acquired Pentagon documents under the Freedom of Information Act discoveredU.S. Defense Department has been considering development of a “fart bomb” (for want of a better term) since 1945.

The Defense Dept. researchers only recently discarded the idea, concluding the concept for such a device was flawed because “people in many areas of the world do not find fecal odor offensive, since they smell it on a regular basis”.

Tell me about it! This is what I have been saying for years: that uncontrollable gas is a problem of global proportions. The difference, of course, is that here is the good ol’ U.S.A., we do find fecal odor offensive.

Assuming enemy troops do, like us, find fecal odor offensive, perhaps a better and more cost-effective approach would be for Defense Dept. researchers to visit this blog, and compile a list of the top foods guaranteed to cause gastrointestinal fireworks. Then they could have the Air Force air drop them over enemy troops, and in a few hours, BANG!

3 Comments:

  • ~ Anonymous Anonymous said …

    This article reminded me of those stink bombs kids used in high school as a joke. Those were of course unbearable back in the day when you had to sit there and actually take in that awful smell sitting in a classroom. I certainly consider a stink/fart bomb lethal, but maybe there's a chemical to add making it last longer for our enemy troops.

     
  • ~ Anonymous Mike Welty said …

    Perhaps there's an application here for riot control, though I'm not sure that we should be working on a fart bomb. I think there's enough gas in the air as it is.

    The person who would create such a weapon should face the same criticism that the engineers of the atomic bomb dealt with. The pain and misery level would be comparable.

     
  • ~ Anonymous Noley's Mom said …

    Clearly a good use of our nation's financial resources... studying a fart bomb. I feel safe.

     

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